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When it comes to Weddings, everyone's superstitious. Even if you're the kind of person who walks under ladders on point of principle, or laughs their socks off when friends touch wood, you can bet that, when you’re wedding day dawns, wild horses couldn't stop you clutching something old and donning something blue. And that’s just for starters. We guarantee that you wouldn't dream of seeing your fiancé on the morning of the wedding, and will you expect to be carried across the threshold? Of course you will!
But where do these old traditions come from?
Well, some can be traced back to Roman & Anglo Saxon times, some to Victorian rhymes and others to folklore that has been passed down through countless generations.
All of them are to do with bestowing good luck and fertility on the happy couple.
There are so many superstitions and traditions associated with Weddings that it’s impossible to follow them all. Many have changed over time, while others, thankfully, are very watered-down versions of old customs.
The tradition of tying old shoes to the back of the Couple's car, for example, stems from Tudor times when guests would throw shoes at the Bride & Groom, with great luck being bestowed on them if they or their carriage were hit!
In Anglo Saxon times the Bride was symbolically struck with a shoe by her Groom to establish his authority. Brides would then throw shoes at their bridesmaids to see who would marry next.
Proposal
In the past when the marriage proposal was a more formal procedure, the prospective groom sent his friends or members of his family to represent his interests to the prospective bride and her family. If they saw a blind man, a monk or a pregnant woman during their journey it was thought that the marriage would be doomed if they continued their journey as these sights were thought to be bad omens.
If, however, they saw nanny goats, pigeons or wolves these were good omens which would bring good fortune to the marriage.
During Medieval times in Brittany the man proposed by leaving a hawthorn branch at the door of his beloved on the first of May. By leaving the branch at the door she accepted his proposal. She made known her refusal by replacing the hawthorn branch with a cauliflower.
The Engagement Ring
Giving and receiving of, was a Roman tradition where a man gave his beloved something valuable as a sign of his desire to marry her. If she accepted his gift, it signified their pledge to be married and was a legally binding transaction, signifying that a girl was no longer available.
An engagement ring containing your birthstone is said to bring you luck. There is no denying that diamonds are classic, beautiful, and hard wearing, and have a wider significance. They were once believed to have protective properties: the light reflected from the bright stones was thought to ward off evil spirits jealous of the couple's happiness. Their brightness is a symbol of purity, sincerity, and fidelity, and as one of the hardest substances in the world.
Surnames
It was thought unlucky for a woman to marry a man whose surname began with the same letter as hers. The sentiment was summarised in the following rhyme:
To change the name and not the letter is to change for the worst and not the better
The bride should not practice writing her new name before the wedding. This is thought to bring bad luck by tempting fate.
Time of Year
As for the time of year, the saying 'Marry in the month of May, and you'll live to rue the day' dates back to Pagan times. May, the start of summer, was dedicated to outdoor orgies (i.e. the summer festival Beltane), hardly the best way to begin married life! Queen Victoria is said to have banned her children from marrying in May, and Nineteenth Century Vicars were rushed of their feet on April 30th because Brides refused to marry during May. The sun has always been associated with sexual stimulation and, therefore future fertility. In Scotland it was traditional for the Bride to 'walk with the sun', proceeding from east to west on the south side of the church and then circling the Church three times 'sunwise' for good luck.
Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind & true,
when February birds do mate, you neither wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can, Joy for Maiden & for Man.
Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go.
Those who in July do wed, must labour for their daily bred.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see
Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last.
Marry in Lent, live to repent
Lent was thought an inappropriate time for a wedding as this was a time of abstinence.
June was considered to be a lucky month to marry in because it is named after Juno, the Roman goddess of love and marriage.
The summer as a whole was considered a good time to marry and this is partly to do with the sun's association with fertility. In Scotland one popular custom was for the bride to "walk with the sun" to bring her good. She would walk from east to west on the south side of the church and then continue walking around the church three times.
Choosing the Day
Although most weddings now take place on a Saturday it was considered unlucky in the past. Fridays were also considered unlucky particularly Friday the 13th. The famous old rhyme advises a wedding in the first half of the week:
Sunday used to be the most popular wedding day, as it was the one day most people were free from work. Puritans in the Seventeenth Century put a stop to this however, believing it was improper to be festive on the Sabbath. Today, Saturdays are the busiest, despite the rhyme
Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth, Wednesday best of all,
Thursday for losses, Friday for crosses, Saturday for no luck at all.
Dressing Up
Until the nineteen hundreds brides hardly ever bought a special Wedding Dress, opting for their best outfit instead. Green was always avoided, as it was though to be unlucky. To say a girl 'had a green gown' also implied that she was of loose morals, because her dress would be grass-stained due to rolling around in the fields! Hence 'Marry in Green, ashamed to be seen'. White Dresses were made popular by Queen Victoria, who broke the tradition of royals marrying in Silver. Symbolising purity and virginity, white was also thought to ward off evil spirits. Other traditions are that the bride should never make her own dress, that the final stitch should not be completed until she is departing for the Church and that she should never try on the entire outfit before the day. This was because it was felt dangerous for the Bride to count her chickens. For the same reason, a Bride should never practise signing her new name until it is legally hers, and wedding linen was marked with the Brides maiden rather than married initials. The tradition of Bridesmaids is evolved from the custom of surrounding the Bride with other richly dressed women, in order to confuse evil spirits.
Married in White, you have chosen right,
Married in Grey, you will go far away,
Married in Black, you will wish yourself back,
Married in Red, you will wish yourself dead,
Married in Green, ashamed to be seen,
Married in Blue, you will always be true,
Married in Pearl, you will live in a whirl,
Married in Yellow, ashamed of your fellow,
Married in Brown, you will live in the town,
Married in Pink, you spirit will sink.
The Wedding Veil
Dating back to Roman times, the bride would wear a veil from head to toe, by means of a disguise, thought to outwit evil spirits. Indeed even the bridesmaids would wear similar veils, to assist in the confusion!
Today we tend to associate the veil with modesty and chastity.
Traditional church weddings often see a veiled bride as a show of respect, by covering the shoulders and face.
In a custom dating back to arranged marriages, the groom's family very rarely let him see the bride prior to the ceremony.
The groom if displeased with the bride’s looks may have refused to marry her.
Only after completion of the wedding ceremony was the groom permitted to lift the veil and see his bride for the first time.
In some Eastern ceremonies the bride is veiled and the groom is not allowed to see the bride's face until after the wedding ceremony.
In some Jewish weddings there is a ritual where the groom ensures that the bride is his intended before placing the veil over her face.
The Wedding Garter
Garters were originally used to hold up stockings and are still regarded by many brides as an essential wedding accessory. Wearing something Blue often takes the form of a wedding garter incorporating a blue bow stitched onto it for luck. Alternatively a small blue bow can be stitched into the lining of the Wedding Gown. The significance of the colour blue is that is represents Constancy and Loyalty and from biblical times a symbol of Purity.
The Wedding Ring
Dates back to 17th century BC Egypt where wedding rings had a supernatural significance; a never-ending band signified eternal love. The significance of wearing the ring on the third finger of the left hand is the early belief that a vein from that finger leads directly to the heart.
Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids were dressed in a similar way to the bride for the same reason as the origin of veil. The bridesmaids were thought to act as decoys to confuse evil spirits and thus protect the bride.
The Wedding Purse Dorothy Bag
The dolly bag or dorothy bag was usually carried by the bridesmaids in order to carry their wedding confetti.
Throwing confetti is probably a relic of former fertility rites. Variations occur throughout the world; flowers, petals, grain, cakes, sugar almonds and rice are all used.
The modern use of the dolly bag, (known as a wedding purse in the USA), is a convenience wedding accessory, for carrying some of the bride's or bridesmaids personal effects.
Confetti
Confetti is Italian for sweets which in Italy are thrown over the couple as they emerge from the Church in that same way we use paper confetti. Raisins and nuts may also be used.
Before the use of paper confetti the married couple were showered with flowers, petals, rice or grains. This was to bestow prosperity and fertility on the couple.
Something Old, Something New
Something old, something new
something borrowed, something blue
and a silver sixpence in your shoe
The rhyme originated in Victorian times, although some of customs referred in it are much older.
'Something Old' signifies that the couple's friends will stay with them. In one version of the tradition the 'Something Old' was an old garter which was given to the bride by a happily married woman so that the new bride would also enjoy a happy marriage.
'Something New' looks to the future for health, happiness and success and symbolises the newlyweds' happy and prosperous future.
'Something Borrowed' is often lent by the bride's family and is an item much valued by the family. The bride must return the item to ensure good luck.
'Something Blue' is thought lucky because Blue represents fidelity and constancy. The custom began in ancient Israel where brides wore a blue ribbon in their hair to symbolise their fidelity.
A sixpence was placed in the shoe to bring the couple wealth in their married life. Some brides still place a penny in their shoe during the marriage ceremony.
Flowers
Flowers have always been used for decoration at weddings; some people choose the flowers at the wedding on the basis of their symbolic meaning.
For example orange blossom has always been associated with weddings because it signifies purity and chastity, Peonies are avoided by some as they represent shame, Azaleas represent temperance, Roses symbolise love and Snowdrops represent hope.
A combination of red and white flowers is avoided by the superstitious because they stand for blood and bandages, however, people from different regions may attach other meanings to the same flower.
For example lilies symbolise majesty to some but are thought unlucky by others because of their association with death.
The groom often chooses a flower for his buttonhole which also occurs in the bride's bouquet, this is a vestige of the time when a Knight would wear his Lady's colours to display his love.
Food for Thought
The Wedding Cake was originally lots of little wheat cakes that were broken over the Bride's head to bestow good luck and fertility. Today's three tier Wedding Cake is based on the unusual shape of the spire of Saint Bride's Church in London. Traditionally the newly-weds should make the first cut to signify sharing their life. Every guest then eats a crumb to ensure good luck. And sleeping with a piece under her pillow is said to make a single woman dream of her future husband. The giving of almond favours is connected with the motto: 'A gift of five almonds represents health, wealth, long life, fertility and happiness' the throwing of confetti, meanwhile is an ancient fertility rite. Handfuls of grain or nuts were traditionally thrown because they are 'life-giving' seeds. In some European countries, eggs are thrown instead.
Get me to the Church
When the bride is ready to leave the house for the wedding ceremony a last look in the mirror will bring her good luck, however returning to the mirror once she has begun her journey will result in bad luck.
Walking is thought to be the best way of getting to Church, as there's more chance of spotting lucky omens. Seeing a rainbow, having the sun shine on the Bride and meeting a black cat or a chimney sweep are all lucky.
Bad omens include seeing a pig, hare or lizard running across the road, or spotting an open grave. Make sure the road is clear on Monks or Nuns too, they foretell barrenness and a life dependant on charity.
Bad weather on the way to the wedding is thought to be an omen of an unhappy marriage, although in some cultures rain is considered a good omen. Cloudy skies and wind are believed to cause stormy marriages. Snow on the other hand is associated with fertility and wealth.
Coming home from Church can be equally hazardous. Tradition dictates the new wife must enter her home by the main door and, to avoid bad luck, must never trip or fall - hence the custom that a bride should be carried over the threshold.
The Wedding Cake
Cutting the wedding cake is now part of the ritual celebrations at the reception. The couple make the first cut together to symbolise their shared future.
Cakes have been associated with weddings throughout history. The Romans shared a cake during the wedding ceremony itself. This was not the rich fruit-cake we enjoy today. It was a plain confection made from wheat flour, salt and water. The Fijians and Some Native American tribes still incorporate cake in the wedding ceremonies.
In Britain early cakes were flat and round and contained fruit and nuts which symbolise fertility.
In the past the custom was to throw many small cakes over the bride in a similar way in which we throw confetti today. A modification of this custom was to crumble cake over the brides head and in some versions to break the cake over the Bride's head. In Scotland Oat Cakes were used for this purpose. This was done to promote fertility.
In Yorkshire a plate holding wedding cake was thrown out of the window as the bride returned to her parental home after the wedding. If the plate broke she would enjoy a happy future with her husband but if the plate remained intact her future would be grim.
Another old English custom was to place a ring in the wedding cake. The guest who found the ring in their piece of cake would be ensured happiness for the next year.
The shape of the modern three tiered iced cake is believed to have been inspired by the spire of Saint Bride's Church in the City of London. It is said that unmarried guests who place a piece of wedding cake under their pillow before sleeping will increase there prospects of finding a partner and bridesmaids who do likewise will dream of their future husbands.
The top tier of the cake is often kept by couples for the christening of their first child.
Shoes
In the past there have been a number of customs involving shoes which were thought to bring good luck. The best known, which is still upheld, is to tie shoes to the back of the newlyweds' car. This has evolved from the Tudor custom where guests would throw shoes at the newlywed couple. It was considered lucky if they or their carriage were hit.
Less well known is for the bride's father to give the groom a pair of the bride's shoes to symbolise the passing of responsibility for the daughter to her new husband. A variation of the custom is for the groom to tap the bride on the forehead with one of the shoes to assert his dominance.
The custom of the bride throwing her bouquet shoulder, described below, was originally performed by her throwing one of her shoes over her shoulder.
Bouquet
After the reception the bride throws her bouquet back over her shoulder where the unmarried female guest group together. Tradition holds that the one who catches the bouquet will be the next one of those present to marry.
A parallel custom is for the groom to remove the garter worn by the bride and throw it back over his shoulder toward the unmarried male guests. Again the one who catches it will be the next to marry.
Crossing the Threshold
After the wedding the bride must enter the new marital home through the main entrance. It is traditional for the groom to carry the bride over the threshold when they enter for the first time. The reason for this is uncertain. One explanation is that the bride will be visited by bad luck if she falls when entering. An alternative is that the bride will be unlucky if she steps into the new home with the left foot first. The bride can avoid both mishaps by being carried. A third explanation is that it symbolises the old Anglo-Saxon custom of the groom stealing his bride and carrying her off.
Hindu's have a similar tradition. The bride is carried by her new husband so that she does not touch the threshold when entering her new home.
The Best Man
It is the best man's duty to protect the groom from bad luck. He must ensure that once the groom has began his journey to the church he does not return for any reason.
He must also arrange for the groom to carry a small mascot or charm in his pocket on the wedding day.
When the best man is paying the church minister's fee he should pay him an odd sum to bring luck to the couple.
Pictured above is a made to measure two Piece Gown by "THE GOWN" in claret satin.
Pictured with the gown is a made to measure flowergirl dress by "THE GOWN" in claret satin with ivory full satin skirt. Claret ribbons to trim.
The Honeymoon
The term "honeymoon" is though to originate from the times when a man captured his bride. The couple would hide from the bride's parents before marrying. The couple would remain in hiding for a further cycle of the moon after the wedding. During this period they drank honey wine.
In Scotland the custom was for a woman with milk in her breasts to prepare the marital bed to encourage fertility in the newlyweds.
In Ireland a laying hen was tied to the bed on the first honeymoon night in the hope that some of its fertility would be passed on to the couple. Eating a double yoked egg was also thought to bring fertility.
Horseshoes
The association of the horseshoe with the wedding ceremony is not too clear, there are ancient pre-Christian supernatural powers attributed to the horseshoe, for the Greeks it symbolised the crescent moon which was regarded as a symbol of fertility. The modern association is more likely to be linked to the legend associated with the 10th century St. Dunstan who trapped the Devil and as a result extracted a promise never to enter the house of a Christian, which he would recognise by a horseshoe hung above the door.
Hence the symbolisms of the "Lucky Horseshoe"; the Bride carries today is lost in the mists of time but is still a potent reminder of our culture and historic roots. Because the horseshoe is " U " shaped, to retain the good luck forever it is essential that the horseshoe is hung by the ribbons which are attached to the shoulders. The horseshoe should not be turned upside down or else all the good luck of the marriage may fall out.
A related tradition says that it is very good luck to see a Grey horse en route to the Church, even more good luck if the Bride travelled in a carriage drawn by a grey horse, whilst the luckiest horseshoes came from the hind feet of a Grey Mare.
A Lucky Sweep
There are many myths and traditions associated with chimney sweeps many of reasons for which are lost in the mists of time. One reason from folklore is that when on one occasion King George II's carriage horses bolted the only person to attempt to stop them was a small sooty figure of a man, a chimney sweep. It is considered extremely good luck, if on the journey to the Church you see a chimney sweep and even greater good luck if you saw the sweeps brush emerging out of the top of the chimney. So to this day to see a chimney sweep and receive the Kiss of Luck after the wedding ceremony is supposed to bring good fortune to the newly married couple.
Some Bride's and Groom's to ensure their good fortune will employ a real live sweep to be present on their Wedding Day as did Stephen Hendry The World Champion Snooker Player when he married. The film Mary Poppins had a sweep (Dick van Dyke) in as a good luck character.
Chim chim erny chim chim cheeri
A sweep is as lucky as lucky can be
Good luck will rub off if I shake hands with you.
Ring Cushions
Wedding rings, continuous with no beginning and no end, symbolised eternal love to the Romans and Egyptians who used precious stones as well as silver and gold and were carried on a cushion. Hence the ring cushion (ring bearer pillow) we have made which carries the precious rings at the ceremony. The Page boy or Chief Bridesmaid would carry the cushion up the aisle to the Best Man who will place the rings on the cushion ready for the minister to bless.
Buying the engagement ring and the wedding rings at the same time is thought to bring bad luck and wearing the wedding ring before the ceremony can bring equally dire consequences.
The diamond engagement ring is a medieval Italian tradition, based on their belief that the diamond was created from the flames of love.
The Couples First Purchase
It is said that the first partner who buys a new item after the wedding will be the dominant one in the relationship. Many brides ensure that they make the first purchase by arranging to buy a small item such as a pin from the chief bridesmaid immediately after the ceremony.
Wedding Anniversaries
Selecting one's partner for life and confirming the decision in the marriage ceremony makes marriage one of the most important events of life. It is appropriate that the wedding day is remembered and celebrated on the anniversary of the date.
Over the years it has become traditional to give a gift on the wedding anniversary based on a theme.
We have listed below the traditional symbolic themes:-
1st. Year....... Paper
2nd. Year....... Cotton
3rd. Year....... Leather
4th. Year....... Books
5th. Year....... Wood
6th. Year....... Iron
7th. Year....... Copper
8th. Year....... Electrical
9th. Year....... Pottery
10th. Year....... Tin
11th. Year....... Steel
12th. Year....... Silk
13th. Year....... Lace
14th. Year....... Ivory
15th. Year....... Crystal
20th. Year....... China
25th. Year....... Silver
30th. Year....... Pearl
35th. Year....... Coral
40th. Year....... Ruby
45th. Year....... Sapphire
50th. Year....... Gold
55th. Year....... Emerald
60th. Year....... Diamond
Wedding Bells
It is traditional to have the church bells rung as the bride and groom emerge from the church after the ceremony. The sound of the bells is supposed to drive away evil spirits and thereby ensuring the couples good fortune.
Wedding Favours
Many brides throughout the world have now adopted the European tradition of distributing favours to their guests.
The modern wedding favour can be almost any sort of small gift or keepsake although, originally they were normally pastries or sweets in little pouches or boxes.
The custom of giving bomboniere is one that has become quite international where Five Sugared Almonds, representing Health, Wealth, Happiness, Fertility and Long Life are often wrapped in ornamental materials and presented to all the female guests at the Wedding, those guests who could not attend would also be sent a favour from the Bride. It is also nice to personalise the favours by placing the guests name and the date of the wedding on a small decorated card to be placed inside the favour box container. This favour will be kept by the guest as a lasting memory of the Wedding Day.
Wedding Origins
Wedding the word comes from the Old English "weddian" to promise, to marry or a derivation of "wedd" meaning a pledge.
Early marriages were by capture, the groom would kidnap the woman, and take her away from her tribe with the aid of his best man, a warrior friend, who would help him fight off other men who wanted his woman, and also help him prevent her family from finding them. The honeymonth (honeymoon) was the period of time the groom and his bride were in hiding from her family and friends. By the time the family had located them, the bride would be pregnant. As society evolved, marriage by purchase was preferred. The woman selected as the bride would be bartered for land, social status, or political alliances, but sometimes she was exchanged for money or goods (such as cattle).
Wooden Spoons
The tradition of giving a wooden spoon dates back many years, the wooden spoon was considered to be the most useful utensil to be used by the woman of the house in her kitchen and would be used to help and assist the new Bride in her kitchen to enable her to cook and produce the best meals for her new husband, and later her family. An interesting Scottish variation on this custom was the giving of a spirtle (for stirring the porridge) in lieu of a spoon.
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